Being alone is not always easy, but spending time just with yourself holds great power.
Why, and how you manage to be happy alone, I will tell you here and enjoy reading.
The most important relationship is the relationship with ourselves
We care about everything and everyone and sometimes about every trivial thing, sometimes without knowing what for. Yet the most important relationship is the relationship with ourselves. But because we are constantly on the move on the outside, our inner self atrophies. The hectic existence becomes a self-runner, spinning in circles so long and so fast that it makes us dizzy. Then we fall over and are thrown back on ourselves.
And then we lie there …
Escape from oneself – or being alone to develop personally
There are moments when you feel abandoned not only by the world, but also by yourself. After a break-up, a loss or at some other turning point in life, being alone can feel terribly lonely.
Enduring this, or rather enduring oneself, is difficult, but important for our personal development.
Being happy alone can be hard
We have a tendency to want to avoid unpleasant things immediately: Let's get away from this gloomy place that currently knows no laughter and no happiness, that no one visits and that is always rushing from one to the other, so as not to have to endure and feel one's own feelings and so as not to be plunged into the depths by one's own abysses, we think, numbing ourselves with stimuli and running faster and faster in an attempt to outrun ourselves and the challenges of life.
But this will not succeed. We cannot run away from life's trials because they are interwoven with us to the very depths. We should solve them.
If we run away from them, they will always appear before us. They force us to immerse ourselves so that we can develop in the threads of life and go our way.
Therefore, we should not want to run away from loneliness, but meet it courageously.
Why being alone is important
Being alone is important. Perhaps all the more important the lonelier it feels. In a world where one is permanently accessible, one should make oneself temporarily unreachable. We don't have to sink into complete isolation and punish ourselves with solitary confinement. It is simply a matter of not constantly avoiding our own encounters with distractions in the depths – and also the heights – of life.
The truth is: even the greatest distraction cannot separate us from ourselves. We always remain true to ourselves. Even when we have not been true to ourselves and our attitudes or resolutions.
The truth is: we are never alone in the world.
It's all the worse when this feeling feels so real – happiness only shallow and yet any human closeness seems distant.
When everything is colourful but appears to us in black and white, when everything is animated but only emptiness sprouts for us, when we are burnt out because the inner fire has gone out, we should throw the focus back on ourselves. Put our life in perspective, lean back into ourselves and look at what is wrong right now.
Be happy alone? Connect with yourself
When our tank is empty and only a sticky trail of oil drips behind us, we need to refuel – fill ourselves back up with ourselves. Breathe into ourselves a spirit of life that speaks our voice, walks in our rhythm, beats our beat and gives us a warm embrace from within.
We don't have to turn the whole world upside down or travel around the globe to do this – all it takes is time with ourselves.
Inner stability when it's stormy on the outside
We can anchor our roots deep inside so that we stand firm in the storms of life. Gentle breezes will come, storms will come, but hurricanes will also sweep over us, sometimes changing our whole lives.
And then?
One thing is certain, the more firmly we stand in ourselves, the less can bring us down.
Aloneness transforms
We don't always have to be able to prance through the world with a beaming smile, bubbling over with joy or feeding on our own endorphin cocktail. We are allowed to be weak – but we have to be strong in order to gain new strength. Because true strength is to endure one's own weakness, to dive into it, to draw from the depths and to grow from it.
Aloneness is the key to ourselves
Being alone is always what we make of it. The key to change can lie in honestly and lovingly letting ourselves in, because then we can open up the many (protective) shells and recognise who we really are. What we need and where we want to go.
Having time for ourselves gives us strength and contentment
Without external influences we become calm. We connect with ourselves, process the past and recharge our batteries. We give ourselves time and attention and take care of ourselves.
And in the moment when we are content with ourselves – not needing any stimuli, events or confirmation from outside, accepting our own shadow sides and not blaming anyone else for our happiness – a powerful force full of independence, personal responsibility and genuine contentment awakens.
Being happy alone – this is how it works
Therefore: If life overruns you or is a self-runner and you no longer know whether you are running after your own life or away from it, then just stand still.
Sit back.
Do nothing or what is good for you.
Hold on, catch yourself and catch yourself again when you have run too far away. Take yourself by the hand and pick yourself up where you are – this way you become yourself again and being alone becomes not only less lonely, but your source of strength.
Bruce Jacobs